He has another mission today. I sit on the edge of the bed, watching him get ready. He slips on his pants, hooks his belt, then stops. He can't find his shirt. I laugh at him, and whistle to catch his attention. His shirt is next to me on the bed. He smirks as he walks towards me, and kisses my forehead before grabbing his shirt and going back to the mirror on the other side of the room.He closes his eyes and rolls his neck and his shoulders back. I watch, in awe, just staring at how beautiful he is. The way each of his movements, even down to his blinking and breathing, are so graceful. The way the sun casts shadows on his skin. The way his delicate fingers button his shirt, those fingers that were once caressing me were going to kill titans. I cringed at the thought. I hated seeing him go, because I never knew if he'd return or not. I let out a small whimper as I thought of losing him, and he froze, fingers above the top button of his shirt, eyebrows furrowed, his gaze caught mine in the mirror. He turned around, and cautiously walked over to me. He kneeled down, and slipped his finger under my chin, and picked up my face.
"Quoi de mal?" He asks me whats wrong in French, and I cant help but get flustered. Because of him I understand French, though I cant actually speak it.
"Nothing." I smile rather unconvincingly. He frowns at me, and just takes a minute to do so. Literally. A minute of frowning at me. He sighs finally, and pulls me into bed with him. Pulling me under the sheets, we just lay down next to each other.
He asks me again. "What's wrong?" This time in English. I cuddle closer to him, resting my head on his chest. I open my mouth to answer, but I can't. I tighten my grip on his shirt and try and hold back the tears. I can't. Before I can stop it, a whimper escapes my mouth and the tears escape. He's obviously surprised by this, but he couldnt say he wasnt expecting it either. He simply pulls me closer, and hugs me tight. His hand makes circles into my back as he kisses my head over and over, repeatedly whispering quoi de mal again and again. I finally calm down enough to regulate my breathing, though I still hiccup. I look up into his grey eyes, and just mutter "I am scared. Scared of losing you." before I start to cry, harder this time. He rubs my back again, humming me a french lullaby he taught me. We sit like this for hours, until I fall asleep again.
I wake up with a jolt. Tears streaming down my face. "HEICHOU." I scream. He comes running from the other side of the house.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down, hiccuping into his chest yet again.
He whispers to me, "You know I wont go on the mission if you dont want me to. I can stay here this time."
I push back to look at him, to see if he is serious. He is.
"N-No they need you. You're their corporal-"
"Amongst other corporals they'll be fine. The same doesnt go for you. I am staying okay?"
I want to fight, tell him he needs to go, but I cant.
I smile at him, ad let him go. I look down to hide my blush. "I'm sorry." He pats my head and mutters, "Dont be." before he walks away to go tell his other corporals he wont be attending this mission, and Erwin will have to take his place.